SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You are the jesus of drinking
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
