I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
