as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
