So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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