Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
