Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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