Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Terrible idea I love it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
