I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize