Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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