I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
