I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
