If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
