I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
