bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
