You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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