There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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