Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
