there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
