forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You dont lie about slip and slides
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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