I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
