this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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