Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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