just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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