So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
