I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
