how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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