I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
