whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
