I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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