hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
