it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
