Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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