You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
