She is in my trunk
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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