Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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