I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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