After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
