can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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