This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
