is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
