Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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