White coat. Heels.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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