Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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