living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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