I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
