I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
