Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
