You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
