I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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