I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
