Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
